Aging Well Podcast
The "Aging Well Podcast" is about, well...aging. It's for people of all ages who are interested in aging successfully. The topics include the Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social dimensions of wellness as they relate to living as well and as long as possible, as well as the financial, legal, and housing questions that everyone has about aging well. Do you have a question you want answered or topic you want discussed on the "Aging Well Podcast"? Send us an email to agingwell.podcast@gmail.com or record your question for us to use in an upcoming episode at following link: Record a message
Aging Well Podcast
Episode 209: 10 Words to a Better World--Finding Peace, Purpose, and Connection w/ Lauryn Axelrod
In this episode of the Aging Well Podcast, Dr. Jeff Armstrong and Corbin Bruton are joined by Lauryn Axelrod, an interfaith and interspiritual leader, to discuss her upcoming book, 'Ten Words: An Interspiritual Guide to Becoming Better People in a Better World.' Lauryn shares insights into how her non-dogmatic exercises blend ancient wisdom with modern science to foster personal and societal change. The discussion covers the universal principles encapsulated in ten simple words that she believes are key to aging well, finding inner peace, and creating a more connected community. Lauryn also shares personal stories and practical advice for incorporating these principles into daily life, drawing on both spiritual and scientific perspectives.
Learn more about Lauryn and find her book at LaurynAxelrod.com.
Buy 'Ten Words: An Interspiritual Guide to Becoming Better People in a Better World' on Amazon and support the Podcast: https://amzn.to/3AMWCUF
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Welcome to the Aging Well Podcast. I'm Dr. Jeff Armstrong here with my cohost, Corbin Bruton in this episode, we're thrilled to have Lauryn Axelrod, an interfaith and interspiritual leader and the author of the forthcoming book, Ten Words. An interspiritual guide to becoming better people in a better world. Lauryn's work offers a refreshing approach to creating personal and societal change through practical, non dogmatic exercises that merge ancient wisdom with modern science. As the world faces significant challenges, social, political, and personal, Lauryn's guidance provides a path to inner peace and community betterment. Join us as we explore how we can each make a difference, beginning with ourselves.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:Lauryn, welcome to the aging well podcast. Let's just begin by having you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you came to be on this path to finding peace, purpose, and connection.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Well, first of all, thanks so much for having me. It's really a pleasure and an honor. I think I've been on this path my whole life, right? Trying to find peace, purpose, pleasure. Isn't that what we all want, right? Isn't that what we all want? my path took me down the spiritual route, right? I was fortunate in the sense that I grew up surrounded by spirituality. I got the good stuff, right? I didn't get the hardcore religion. I got the good stuff. And I think I was just always curious. There's something more going on here than meets our eyes, right? Our ears, our minds and spent my life really delving into that question of what's going on here.
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:is going on here? What is it? So what do you mean by you grew up in the aspects of the spirit? What is it? What do you mean by that?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:so I was raised Jewish, but I went to Episcopal schools and I was fortunate to have as a very early teacher, an African American woman who was the pastor of an evangelical, you know, hallelujah, can I hear you say it? Church. So. But it was at a time when ecumenism was very prevalent, right? So it wasn't hardcore religion in any of these. It was joy. It was connection. It was purpose. It was community. It was all of those things, right? So that's the, you know, to answer that question. But as far as, you know, what's going on here, if I had the answer, I would be happy to share it, but I don't. I just have the questions. I just have the questions and I rest in that place of, don't know, but I'm going to keep asking
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:Well, here's a question you might know the answer to. Lauryn, how do you define aging well?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:aging well is exactly that peace, purpose, joy, health, right? We need our health. We need our sense of connection. You know, I'm also a hospital. Chaplain. So I see people at the end of their lives what I've learned is that to age well is to stay connected. Is to stay in that wow. Right? stay in the wow of being alive. And that's a spiritual place, right? Because to be alive what crazy miracle is this? Isn't this incredible? And I, you know, I have a patient who's 104.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:Oh,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:She's amazing. Yeah, she's amazing. And every time I see her, which is every week, right? She greets me with this, wow, you're here. And wow, Let's talk about tennis or hot dogs or the birds or flowers, right? She's still engaged. I think aging well is about remaining engaged. With this thing called life, and that's all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. Staying with it.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:So that is our definition of aging well too, I believe. So you've mentioned you've had this interspiritual path your whole life. Inspired you to simplify the wisdom from all these different spiritual traditions into this practical 10 word guide?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Well, you know, after decades of searching and seeking and being deeply involved in a number of different traditions, from, you know, the Abrahamic traditions, the Western traditions, and the Eastern traditions, as well as Indigenous traditions, I found that I had a whole lot of practices, and I had a whole lot of knowledge, but I wasn't really getting anywhere. And what I was seeking was not so much doctrine from one tradition or another, but what is it underneath it? That is common to all traditions, all faith and wisdom traditions, as well as what we've known, you know, what we've learned with modern science and psychology, like, that's relevant so what are the common principles? So I went digging and I looked for them, and I came up with 10 words that are the common principles for all of our faith and wisdom traditions. I really think of them as the universal laws, the universal ethics. Like if this is, we do these things, we will become better people in a better world. We will live well. We will thrive. will support one another. We'll live in a world that, that supports us. All beings to thrive.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:So quickly summarize for our listeners, what are the 10 words and how did you come to those 10 words?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:So the 10 words. They all begin with A, B, and C, They're that foundational. The first word is attention, you're not going to go anywhere if you're not paying attention. And what's interesting is a lot of modern spirituality stops there. Mindfulness, right? Mindfulness is just the first step. Where is your attention, right? And that attention is the through line. That's why it's the first word. So attention, acceptance, authenticity. Benevolence, balance, contemplation, creativity, collaboration, celebration, care.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:And I really like how the first five words tend to be more about being, and then the last five words are more about behaving.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:got it. You got it. That's exactly it. Right? Is that we have to cultivate this inner part of ourselves, right? In those first five words, contemplation is the fulcrum. It's where you go from inner to a bigger picture, And then the last four words are how once we've cultivated these qualities in ourselves, these principles, they can show up out in the world. So it's really about a relationship. It's inner and outer, and it's, you know, what's interesting about these words that is different than, say, like the Ten Commandments or the Eightfold Path or various precepts or things in different traditions is that they're not separate, because what you find is you're not going to be able to do benevolence. without acceptance. So by the time you get to care, which is the last word, and care means to attend to, right, to give a specific kind of attention to, you've come full circle. So they're all connected. And that's what's so beautiful about it is that it creates, it actually is a complete path. It's not just a separate thing of like, you know, oh, thou shalt not, you know, and they're not thou shalt nots, and they're not thou shalts. They're questions. How does acceptance show up in my life? What does it mean to me? How can I cultivate that? How can I practice that? So it's just a question. It's not a thou shalt.
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:Well, could you, okay, let's dive a little deeper into that. Could you share some examples of the core principles and how you specifically apply them to your life?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Well let's just start with attention. Let's always start with the
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:all right,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:So here is where our practices of mindfulness do come in, right? I personally spend time every day, even if it's just for a few minutes. Just dropping down, dropping out, letting my mind come into the present moment. Right? So that's a simple practice. Couple of minutes. Where are you? I like to say you need to be where your hands are. Right. You need to be where your hands are if you're doing something and your mind is elsewhere, you're not present to what's happening.
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:Like talking with your hands is how people engage with each other.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Yeah. You know where your hands are. Right. So that's a practice. That's just an everyday practice. Acceptance. a constant practice, especially these days, right? We have a lot that we have to work on accepting, right? And that's constantly like, am I judging? Am I making a distinction between what's good and what's bad based on whatever concepts or ideas or beliefs I might have? And that includes about myself, I have to spend time going, am I judging myself? Am I beating myself up? Or can I accept myself in my fullness? And some days it's
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:great
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:and some days it's not so great, right? Some days we're just having a bad day and that's okay, right?
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:Benevolence really means well
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:So going through benevolence, right? Benevolence really means well wishing. So am I able to practice benevolence even when it's just like, I don't like this? or I don't like this person or I don't like what's going on. We have to be kind, you know, it's the principle of kindness. all it is, right? So a practice for that is when you catch yourself going, you know, you drop down just, What kind thing can you do right now? And a lot of these practices are always about the right now. That's why attention's important, right? Right now, not down the line, not yesterday, not, you know, it's right now. What can I do right now in this moment? Balance, right? We're always somewhere on this spectrum of balance. And balance shows up in all different ways, especially as we're aging, right? Right. Especially as we're aging, we need to bring that principle of balance in, but also balance in, you know, it might be in our work life or our work home life. It might be in,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:consuming.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:how much media we're consuming need to pull back. It might be in the way that we relate to the natural world.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:natural world.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Our consumption patterns balance shows up everywhere. Contemplation, which is really one of my favorites is taking those moments to just get quiet, right? To get quiet. So you can hear it's so noisy out there and it's so noisy in here,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:right?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:That sometimes we just have to get quiet so that we can hear what's true and what's real and turn our attention to that. As I said at the beginning, that mystery. That question, what is going on here? I don't know, but I'm going to listen. I'm going to get quiet and I'm going to listen. Creativity. breath we take is creative and that understanding that it's not just making art, that's not. Where creativity is doing a podcast creating a podcast is a creative act cooking dinner is a creative act Everything we do that brings something into the world that didn't exist before is a creative act and we are inherently creative
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:Creation.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Collaboration
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:Me
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:we go from the me to the we right how in this moment am I able to see the both and
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:me
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:The what's good for me is also good for you. that's a natural principle. That's the way the universe works. It's very collaborative, right? Go into a forest, right? Forests are completely, everybody's working together there, right? That's how the world works. Celebration, right? That remembering you're still breathing. You're here. Isn't this amazing being able to get down into that place of awe of wonder magic. Right. And celebrating that's a practice of gratitude. And then care. In every moment, we can do something that takes care of someone or something else. Watering your houseplants, feeding your cat, care, right? It can be that simple.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:don't know, sometimes feeding the cat is more selfish for me than it is care. When our cat gets on me at 5. 30 in the morning, you know, just like, pounding on my chest telling me to get up and feed her. Or
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But it's also an act of care that you do get up.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:true. I don't just throw him off the bed. I just,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Right. You could just go I sympathize.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:so with so much upheaval in today's world, particularly, you know, in these last several years, how do these principles really help individuals navigate these challenging social and political landscapes that we're all in the midst of?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Oh, yeah. That's such the question right now. Right. It really is. And in many ways, you know, that was also one of the impulses to develop these, you know, these 10 words, which really just came as a group. And then I looked at them and I went, Oh, wait a minute, there, there's something here, you know, and then spent a year going through each word month by month. Right. I think that they are the answer in many ways, right? They are the way that we can get through chaotic times, you know, and if we really look at, you know, they're derived from sacred text. Which means that for a million, you know, millennia, we've been trying to figure out how to deal with change, how to deal with chaos, how to deal with things not being the way we want them. And each faith and wisdom tradition has had their ways, you know, their suggestions, their ways for doing this. This is how we, this is how we swim in turbulent waters. practice these things. We pay attention. We work on accepting. We may not like it. may not like it. Division, chaos, Nobody says you have to like it,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:But
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:you still have to accept that it's happening. It is what it is, right? Practice kindness. Kindness is what helps us survive through things like this balance, getting quiet, contemplation, creativity. We need to make changes. We need to apply our creativity. We need to be, you know, mindful of what it is we're bringing into the world always. Collaboration? We need to collaborate.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:cooperate. Just a
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:a little bit, right? Celebration. We can still be grateful. We can still give thanks. We can still be in joy, even if there's chaos around us. And care. If we don't take care of the things we love, we don't have them, you know? And even, you know, people who are suffering, we need to take care of them too. to extend out. So I really do believe that these words are the path. I mean, they're not THE path, okay? They're A path. They are a path, but work, you know, easy.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:I think they're, you know, you can say they're the path, but there's many things on that path that, you know, come together to bring us collectively to this. Direction that we're all is, you know, humans with consciousness and everything supposed to be evolving toward. So, yeah, I don't have a problem with saying it's the path, but understanding that there are many paths, you know,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Absolutely.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:with religion, right? But there are many paths,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:There are many paths up the mountain and the mountain is bigger than any path on it. Right.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:the same.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Ultimately. And the destination is how can we be better people in a better world? been trying to do this for thousands of years, right? sometimes we get it, and sometimes we don't. But we've been taught how to do it, you know?
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:So how do how do reflection and mindfulness contribute to the personal growth, and how do they incorporate into your book's teaching?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Well, I mean, both reflection and mindfulness are part of attention and contemplation, right? We need to be coming. From a reflective, mindful place. Now we can't flail around and anger and outrage and fear. got to come back right to a quieter place where then our action moving forward has some grounding. It's grounded somewhere. It's not just, ah, freaking out, you know? you know, it's, they're the through line throughout the 10 words. That's why it's the first word. Right. And the fulcrum, the middle word it's, they're the through line, but they're not the end, right. And that's, what's really important. Like, you know, again, in modern spirituality, we've got all this focus on mindfulness, as though that is the whole point. It's the practice that takes us into everything else. You're not going to collaborate if you're not paying attention. If you're not mindful of your relationship to other people and other beings in the world around you. So they're really they're the through line, but they're not the end point.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:So my dad's a big fan of the comedian Emo Phillips. I don't know if you know who Emo is. Of his funniest bits was when he talks about this guy being on the Golden Gate Bridge, ready to jump. And, you know, he talks about, Starts talking to him about God and faith and religion and they find out they're the, you know, the same They're both Christian and they he starts going through Oh what denomination and he starts breaking it down further and he finally gets down to I think it's like whatever like Synod or something like that of the church Different. He says, heretic, and he pushes them off the bridge.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:right.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:in what ways do, or can these teachings help us bridge these cultural and religious divides and foster a more united and understanding society?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Oh, that's so their goal, right? That's their intention is, you know, if we get caught up in doctrine and dogma, and, you know, who belongs to what, fighting over that instead of looking at, you know, underneath all of that, we're saying the same thing. We're all saying the same thing, which isn't to negate. That there are, you know, different perspectives that's fine, have your perspective as long as your perspective, you know, long as your perspective isn't negating mine. And that's the beautiful thing about these words. You can actually go through them from the perspective of any one tradition there. You know, you can look at them through Christianity. They're all there. You could look at them through Buddhism. They're all there. But if what we're trying to do is not separate ourselves, right? Not separate ourselves, but find that common ground. What do we have in common? Because we have to find that now, you know, otherwise we've just gone tribal and you know, we're gonna, we're gonna hurt each other really badly. If we don't find the common ground, and these days, you know, I hear, and it breaks my heart. I hear a lot of people saying, I can't find common ground with those people. Well, that's a failure of your imagination. You know, it's a failure of your imagination because underneath it, are human and underneath it, we all want to live in a better world. You just have some different ideas of what that looks like. But I do think that we can find a common ground and these principles, you know, these principles, the 10 words, I believe can help us.
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:So how do you decide on the specific of the 10 words in the book, and how, or, and what makes each of them particularly transformative?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Well, like I said, when I sort of sat down and this is, you know, after years and years of study, I'm also an ordained interfaith minister, right? So years of study in all of these different traditions. And I sat down and said, okay, I need to find the common principles.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:And I
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And I just started writing. And by the time I got to KR, I was like, okay, I'm done. You know, like, the simple, the ones that encompass everything. You know, people say sometimes why isn't love one? I'm like, because love's in there. Love
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:certain
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:the way that we define certain other actions. Benevolence,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:these words,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Care.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:transformative because
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Compassion is another one. Why isn't that there? It's in there, right? It's another, it's a way of, these words, these principles get expressed. They're transformative because they're really, on the surface, they're words we know. We already know what these words are.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:with
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:just have forgotten or we're not paying attention deeply enough. Once you start working with the word, once you start saying, okay, let's say this week I'm going to work on balance, right? Which is one that I need this week. Sorry. You know, so this is my word this week is balance. Where you know, I'm,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:transform
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:getting enough exercise? Nice.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:just
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:No, you've been sitting in front of the computer. That's why you're stressing. You know, you need to get out. You need to go outside and take a walk, get into some balance. They transform you almost effortlessly. When you just ask the question and you keep asking the question and you keep asking, you know, in the book, there are reflection questions for each word. Again, not by no means like, Comprehensive but, you know, a place to start and there's some suggested practices, simple practices that don't necessarily come out of any religious tradition,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:day
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:but are common to all of them.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:that's not the way
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And when you start doing those, it's like it's almost effortless. not that much work. You know, it's not a lot of spiritual practices like, Oh, I have to sit on my cushion for eight hours, you know, or do, you know, yoga every single day for six hours. It, no, that's not the way this is. You know, what we found is that you can just put the word, write the word on a sticky note.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:note,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And stick it on your computer or your refrigerator or your mirror or all over your house,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:your house.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And if you keep that word in front of you, it, in some ways, it just sinks in.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:it's gonna show
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And before you know it, by the time you've gone through these words, you've changed. You have transformed. Because your awareness is now on these principles. So it's going to show up in your life. They're going to show up every day. These words will literally show up in your life every day if you're paying attention. Sometimes one is more highlighted than the other.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:So I'm going to shift gears just a little bit here. We like science as well as the spiritual on the Aging Well podcast. So how does modern science support the principles in your book and are there studies or psychological concepts that align with these practices that you teach?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Absolutely. So that's one of the beauties of these words, right? Is that, you know, these all came out of a mystical understanding. That's the root of all spirituality. It's a mystical understanding. And what we're finding that science is supporting what the mystics knew thousands of years ago. Let's take, for example, the importance of mindfulness and stress reduction, right? In physical health. We know that's there's tons of studies out there, right on how mindfulness, how attention and contemplation getting quiet are good for you physically, right? Balanced. We know that when you're out of balance, you are going to suffer physically, mentally, emotionally. Kindness. What we've discovered is that kindness, benevolence releases endorphins in the body, right? That make you feel good.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:are being
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Whether you are being kind to somebody else or somebody's kind to you.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:aviator.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:just part, you know, we know this physically
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:as
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:science, that this is true.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:said, understand how the trees
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:The universe, as scientists will tell us, is infinitely creative. It's in a constant state of creating, right? Quantum physicists, my son's an astrophysicist, so I actually understand a little bit about physics, right? And science. But, you know, that there's this constant arising and returning, things are expanding, contracting, expanding, contracting. It's in a constant state of change and creativity, and everything is in collaboration with everything else. Science has shown us this. Again, I said, go into a forest. Understand how the trees communicate through the mycelial web. Right? How the animals, you know, like I, I live in the country, so I see this a lot.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:lot.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:you know, sometimes we have what they call masier, where the oaks drop all their acorns. It's just tons and tons of acorns. Well, we got some fat squirrels, right? The reason that they need that is it's gonna be a hard winter. So there's collaboration happening all the time. And care, you know, it's weird to say that there is a scientific premise for care, but if you look around in the world, will see it everywhere.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:Thing is
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:caring for everything else. So science That these are not separate from science
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:science.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:and you can go through these words without any spiritual orientation at all.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:all.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And they'll still work.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:stop.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:You don't have to be interested in the sacred or the divine.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:or the
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:They're just universal principles.
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:So what feedback have you received from early readers, and has it influenced how you approach sharing these ideas?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:You know, like I said, when I first started working with these words, shared them with a group of people and we spent a year together going through them. All of us coming from different orientations, different places different parts, different places on the path. Right. and what we discovered is that. By the end of it, almost effortlessly, we had transformed. We were happier. We were more joyful. We had more purpose. We had more peace in our lives. And that's the feedback that I get all the time. I get how practical it is from people. Like this is so practical and that's really important to me because there's a lot of spirituality that's like way out there. Woo. I'm not really interested in that. I'm interested in what works, keeps us grounded here. Cause here's where we are. Right. Right. This isn't about being focused on some afterlife, some idea of, you know, where you're going to go when this is all over. It's here. That's practical. So, you know, that's a lot of the feedback I get is how practical it is. how easy, you know, there's no, I have to do this, I have to do that. It's almost like it's like osmosis, you know, it just, you know, once you get these words in your head, It's like it works like osmosis.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:It's
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:it's, you know, if it's changed anything in the way that I present these,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:is understand
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:is To help people understand that this does not, you know, you don't have to have any spiritual knowledge, right? This is your journey. I'm not defining the divine. I'm not telling you what is right or wrong.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:And
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:here are principles.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:principles,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:if you explore these principles. You're going to discover your own truth, your own experience. And the beautiful thing is that it's not like you go through them once and you're done.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:done. You can go
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:You can go back round and round or pick one or whatever. You're going to find they show up. Even, you don't even have to consciously do it,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:do it.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:you know? And that's, so that's the way I like to tell people is this is a practical spirituality. This is rooted. It's not woo, it's rooted in what we know, right? And what we've been taught for thousands of years and what science and psychology are telling us now.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:your life, it's
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And it's relevant. It's relevant to what's happening right now. It's relevant to your life. It's not something, you know, far away. You don't have to wear robes and crawl on your knees and, Fast for a hundred days. You don't have to do any of that.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:of that,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And that's a, you know, a lot of modern spirituality is like, you have to do these things. It's like, no, you don't. You just have to pay attention to these 10 words, you know?
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:And one thing I'm picking up from this, it really fascinates me and reading through the book I'm seeing the same thing, that it's, there's this continuity with it all that, you know, and you mentioned a little bit earlier is you get. It brings you back to acceptance, but then it brings you back through that whole cycle again. And I write a lot and we talk a fair amount on this podcast about what I call well centered fitness and presented a little bit differently. My friend Jay, who will appreciate the call out again, because every time we mentioned him, he gets excited that he hears about us talking about him on the podcast, but he summarized everything. He pointed out that, you know, every time you. Talk about these things are, you know, are what I call the well centered fitness. I always talk in the order of spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, and social. He You know, spelling out spies? And I'm like, I was never intentional about it. It just came out that way. But one thing I always. speak of is like, it's an asthma tope that we're always going toward this thing, this being this existence that is closer and closer to perfection, but we're never going to get to that perfection, See the same thing that this target just, you know, as I talk about this being a target that I can see, we move through the cycle, these 10 words, and each time To acceptance, we're a little bit closer to the center, and we just keep spiraling in toward the center. And
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Exactly.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:what advice do you have for our listeners on how they can integrate these 10 words into their daily routines that we can maybe move toward that well centeredness?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:I love that idea of well centeredness, right? Because this has the same concept, right? This is physical, emotional, spiritual. This is, you know, all of this is at play here. This isn't just a head practice. It's not just a body practice. It's not just a, you know, out there spiritual practice. what I always suggest is, you know, A, get the book, right?
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:Absolutely.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:You know, it gives you a little bit of background on why each of these words are important a lot more than I can just give you in a podcast. And some suggested practices and some reflection questions. But I like to say that, you know, take, start with the first word and go through all the words. One at a time, right? This isn't a book that you just sit down and read and just you're done, right? It's a book that, you know, set aside a specific amount of time. A month is a good length of time for busy people, right? And it also gives time for these words to seep in, right? So a month for each word or a week, whatever feels right to you, right? Whatever feels right. There's no right way or wrong way to do this. And go through, just go through word by word and you'll see how almost effortlessly they bleed into the next one, you know, like you're working on paying attention and then suddenly you're like, well, wait a minute, I have, I'm having a hard time accepting what I'm paying attention to. and there you are right. And we're always, there is no perfect. There is no perfect. We're always in the process of becoming. Always, even, and again, I mentioned, you know, I'm an end of life, you know, I'm a chaplain and even up to the end. We're still becoming, always still. So if we can let go of this need to like Get it once and for all and be done. It just doesn't work that way, right? It just doesn't. We're just always working towards it, the next step towards it. And if you know, you'll see once you start working with the words, you'll see They just become, I like to think of it as a map, really, you know, or a structure or a framework because it's really easy to get sidetracked. It's really easy to end up in the weeds somewhere, especially given how much information that we have out there regarding, you know, spirituality or how to do our lives, right? It's really easy to sort of end up someplace else.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:you
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:These words
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:keep
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:give you like guardrails. You know, they keep you from going off too far.
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:So what are some common obstacles people face in adopting these practices, and how can they effectively overcome them?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Well, the biggest obstacle is I don't want to, right? I don't want to. I think it's going to be hard. You know, I don't have time. Those are the constant ones, right?
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:I mean, we hear that on our end with working out and exercise, so.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Absolutely. It's the same obstacles, right?
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:So there is,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:is that it does take a certain amount of effort,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:book, we
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:right? So there is,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:How,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:you know, there's the D section
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:certain
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:the words,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:have
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Which at the end of the book, after we go through the 10 words, there's the, how do you keep doing this, right? How and the D words are discipline. Ooh, everybody hates that word, right? Discipline, but it does take a certain amount of discipline. You have to say I want to do this. I mean, the truth of the matter is we only do the things we want to do ever,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:really do it.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:you know, really, that we put the effort in when we want to do it. So you have to find your reason for wanting to do it.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:better
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Do you want to be a better person in a better world? Do you want to have peace, purpose, joy? You know, I don't know anybody who can answer no to that. But if they can, all right,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:You find
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:so you find your reason,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:you're
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:your why,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:or working out or
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:and I can't tell you what that why is. You have to find it for yourself.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:I just
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:So
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:in
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:that's where some discipline comes in.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:up
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:days. I mean, you guys know if you're going to the gym or working out or whatever your fitness plan is, some days you're just like, you know, I just want to stay in bed. I don't want to get up and do this. You make yourself do it because it's important to you. Dedication. You know, you keep going
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:then, vision is an interesting
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:and then devotion.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:struggled with
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:So devotion is an interesting word.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:my
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And it's a word I struggled with for a long time
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:it even when you
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:being devoted to my path.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:You do it Love
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:what does that mean to be devoted? It means that
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:like,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:you do it even when you don't want to do it. You do it because you love it.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:that
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And coming to that place of love. I mean, I know working out like, you know, it's hard to come to that place of love. But once you're in that place of love you want to keep doing it. So that's devotion.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:I like that, that we're moving through the alphabet. Now we'll have to get the E. So to underscore all this, and I know you've touched on it a little bit already, but how do these teachings Or how are these teachings particularly relevant in our current global challenges that we're facing? And we have, we only have about two days to finish this podcast, so. In ancient Chinese words, the
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Oh, yeah, this is the big question, right? And it's, you know, what we're faced with, again, I can say that, you know, we've been struggling. this for thousands of years and go through cycles, you know, we just happen to be in this part of the cycle and you know, there's a, there's an ancient Chinese curse that says, may you live in interesting times and I actually think of it as a blessing in the sense that when we live in interesting times, it asks something of us, it pushes us to Or pulls us or stretches us right into becoming people that we don't even know we can be into a world that we don't even know whether it can happen. Right. But we have to have some sense of trust and I use the word trust rather than faith because actually in the biblical Hebrew, what we is often translated as faith in English. The word is amunah.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:and
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And it means trust and trust is different than faith because trust is based on something that You can see it happen. You develop trust, you earn trust, right? So we have to have trust. We have to have trust that if we can stick to the things that
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:can't say
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:we know are right.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:these words that
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:I honestly can't say that there's a single one of these words that somebody could say, Oh, no, that's wrong, right? We know this is right. We know this is what helps us. Find peace with each other,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:thing of
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:right? Come to some understanding of how we can live on this beautiful planet together. And we need that. We need that more than ever right now because that's where we are. We're in a place where that's in question. In a lot of places in the world. including here at home, right?
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:It's
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:it's challenging. And if we allow ourselves to go into fear and greater division and greater anger and outrage and hate, we don't, we're not going to get very far. And we've been told that
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:been told
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:we've been told that for thousands of years, you go that direction. Yeah, no, it's not going to work out so well.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:to have, we need to,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:So we need to have We need to, we need some guidelines. We need some ways to come back
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:balance. Get quiet. Always
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:to what we know is right. And we know is true. And that is pay attention,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:now,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:accept,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:save the world. You can save
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:try to keep things in balance,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:virtually, and
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:get quiet so the noise isn't overwhelming you. Use your creative imagination to bring something beautiful into the world. with others. Celebrate, celebrate, take care. Take care with yourself, take care with others, take care of the world around you. In whatever little way you can right now, you don't have to save the world, you can't. But you can take care of what's in front of you, and we have to.
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:Would you be willing to share any personal experience that has shaped your understanding of these ten words and the book's message?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Well, I can say that since I've been working with these words, really, and I developed them for myself, and then found that other people were like, Oh, wow, these are great. I want to do it. So that's really where the book came from. Personally, I literally live these words. Like I said, right now, balance. And, you know, here's the personal story. I have my cat. We're going to talk about cats. All right. We're going to talk about cats. I have my cat.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:I've spent hours
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:I have a feral mama cat that decided to gift me with three of her kittens
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:I can get
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:and she brought
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:okay
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:boyfriend with her too.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:way to deal with
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:I have six cats that I am literally trying to balance because they don't get along,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:I'm Throw
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:so It's like, okay, balance, how can I.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:the
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:And it's making me crazy, right? It's making me a little bit nuts because I've spent hours a day trying to manage these cats. I need balance, need some moments of contemplation, quiet where I can get quiet and hear, okay, what is the best way to deal with this? You know, how do I deal with this right now so that I'm not becoming a crazy person and I'm not ready to throw all the cats out and say, you know, I mean, it's, it sounds mundane, but that's the beauty of these words, right? Is that these aren't lofty,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:that these aren't lofty, that this is going to
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:that this is going to show up and that's part of your spirit. You know, I like to say,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:or you know it or not, is, this
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:You're already on a spiritual path, whether you know it or not.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:given
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:It's called life. Life is the spiritual path. The fact that I now have to deal with six cats for the next few weeks until those kittens are old enough to be given to their forever homes,
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:I
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:That's life. The boulder's the path.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:at
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Right. I have to apply these words
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:noise, like,
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:also what happens is because I'm up half the night because there's, you know, cats making noise, but who knows whatever my temper gets short, find myself in out there in the world, really having to work on acceptance, really having to work on benevolence, having to work on care. Cause I'm tired and I'm stressed out balance. That's what I mean. These are just they're everywhere. are everywhere.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:All right, well, since we're talking balance, let's ask you the question we ask of all of our guests. What are you doing personally to age well?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Oh, this practice. First of all second of all, really trying to stay in that. Wow. Which is hard. It's really hard some days, you know, to remind myself. And again, because I spend my time, my work life with. People at the end of life, how important it is to stay in that. Wow. As long as you're breathing, you know, even if physically may not be healthy as you would like to be. I think that the real trick to aging well is wow. It's wow. And that's what I'm doing. It that's what, that's really my focus these days.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:So perhaps we should change the name of the podcast to the Aging Wow podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Yeah. Yeah.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:Yeah.
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:That there's podcasts and that you and I, you know, we're having this conversation over, you know, I have no idea where you are, I am. And I mean, wow, isn't that amazing? That keeps the mystery alive, right? It keeps the mystery of life alive.
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:So Lauryn, how can our listeners connect with your work and engage in community initiative or community outreach that are related to your teachings?
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:Well, first of all, you can visit my website, lauryn Axelrod. com. That's L A U R Y N A X E L R O D. com. There's Facebook and Instagram. There's also, I write a sub stack called Radical Spirituality. that you can check out there. And, you know, one of the things that's been marvelous about these words is, you know, people get the book or they learn about the words they say, Hey, I want to do this. And then group of their friends say, Hey, I want to do this together creating little groups, study group, practice groups, right? That's they're happening all over, you know, small groups of people who are saying, Hey, these are interesting. Let's do this together. And they're happening in everything from yoga centers to churches to just groups of people getting together on zoom do it. I've got a friend who's combining it with tarot. It's, you know, there's all kinds of ways that you can engage with these words. And I do, you know, I
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:I don't
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:don't guarantee much, but I will guarantee this. If you gen if you genuinely go through these words, practice. Things will transform. You will find yourself more peaceful, purposeful, more joyful, becoming a better person in a better world. And if the more of us do it, the better off we all are.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:Well, Lauryn, this has been an absolutely uplifting conversation. I'm my head spinning thinking, okay, how am I going to incorporate some of this into my daily journaling practices and meditative practices and so on. I really, I thank you for joining us. Is there anything we've missed? Do you have any final words for our listeners and viewers
lauryn-axelrod--she-her-_1_11-16-2024_102001:No, I've loved this conversation. Thank you so much for the opportunity to share these 10 words. And I love how, you know, the process of aging, well, can't forget our spiritual side. That's part of it. Right. And I love that you've got this holistic. view. So, and remembering that these 10 words are holistic. They cover body, mind and spirit, all the ways that we can age well.
squadcaster-h4j2_1_11-16-2024_072001:And to our listeners out there who've been on this journey with us for a while and really appreciate our spies terminology, if you love Lauryn's 10 pillars and you're interested in that, we'll be more than happy to put a. Hyperlink to her book in our description below. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for listening and always remember to keep aging well.
jeff_1_11-16-2024_072001:or aging? Wow.
Thank you for listening. I hope you benefited from today's podcast. Until next time, keep aging well.
