Episode 184: The Multi-faceted Nature of Aging Well w/ Ms. Connecticut Senior, Robin Kencel

In this episode, Dr. Jeff Armstrong engages in a profound conversation with Robin Kencel, 2024 Miss Connecticut Senior. Robin shares her inspiring journey of entering the pageant at age 66, her perspective on successful aging, and her thoughts on passion and purpose. She discusses her five tactics for maintaining vitality, the importance of well-centered fitness, and her work as a mentor and spiritual director. Discover insights on living a vibrant and purposeful life as we explore how to age well with Robin.

Learn more about Robin Kencel at http://robinkencel.com/

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Transcript

0:01

Welcome to the Aging Well podcast. I'm Jeff Armstrong here with Corbin Bruton. In this and the episodes that follow, we will share candid discussions on aging and hear from the experts. We are here to inform and encourage as we experience, well, aging. My guest is Robin Kensel, 2024 Miss Connecticut Senior. She shares her inspiring journey and insights on aging well. We discuss her decision to enter the pageant at 66, her definition of successful aging and her thoughts on passion and purpose. Robin discusses her five tactics for maintaining vitality, the importance of well centered fitness, and her work as a mentor and spiritual director. The episode is a rich exploration of how to live a vibrant and purposeful life to age well.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 0:47

Robin, welcome to the Aging Well podcast. Let's begin by having you tell us a little bit about yourself.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 0:52

Sure. live in Connecticut and I was actually born and raised in Connecticut. There's three, I think, key formations that influenced my life. One is my grandfather founded a nursing home that my father ran and my mother was a physical therapist at. So myself and my three siblings worked at the nursing home during vacations and after school. And that really taught us two things. One was being responsible for staff and patients. a leader somewhere. And the other was being hyper vigilant about showing compassion, particularly to those such as the old, the elder. the second thing that was very formative was my mother was Italian, is Italian and ran a very structured household. So it set up very strong family values. A very clear schedule, but we were also given freedom to go explore outdoors, you know, start a business at seven years old. And I think that was a great combination. And then lastly, I grew up largely in the sixties and seventies in the largest town in Connecticut that was very racially charged. During those years, I was co president of the large high school and in the middle of race riots and had to work on diversity with the other students and administration, and those three, I feel really, were influential in who I am today.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 2:15

And so at 66, you won the Ms. Connecticut senior pageant. first, congratulations. Second, what inspired you to enter that competition?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 2:26

So I'm in real estate and one of my clients much younger than me was entering a pageant and I watched her prepare and listen to her. And then someone who works for me also entered a pageant much younger and as she finished it and we were about it. I thought to myself, this is another opportunity to put myself under a bit of stress. I am a competitive ballroom dancer. So a chance to be in front of judges and an audience is very useful for that journey. And I also, Connecticut gave me so much that I thought this would be a great opportunity to give back because I didn't just win the crown and then just be like, You know, cut ribbons at supermarkets. I developed a business plan with key initiatives, and I'm taking it very seriously and meaningful, I think, to the state.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 3:20

And so this isn't something you did in your younger years, I presume.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 3:24

You know, when I was a student at Georgetown, a friend and I were in a show, in Georgetown and Scouts Sauce, she's an amazing singer. I was dancing and they recruited us for a very large, Miss America pageant in Maryland. And we made the top 10 the same night that the finals were, we were still in a show and we went on the subway. So we didn't really take it that seriously, nor did we really train it all for it. That was my little tiny taste of it. And it was just a very different world. The Miss Senior America is quite different because it focuses on who you are for inner beauty, what you've accomplished. the judging reflects that because 30 percent is your interview in front of a panel of judges, 30 percent is your talent, which was interesting to me because I couldn't bring my ballroom partner with me. I did something, you know, contemporary. So that was a challenge. 20 percent is your philosophy of life, which is my favorite part. You memorize it in 35 seconds and you deliver it to the audience. So where else do you have a captive audience to tell them what you really think is a key to life? then the final 20 percent is the gown and it's not the gown. It's really how you are comfortable walking and presenting yourself, your grace, your elegance, you know what you're about.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 4:47

And I think that philosophy of life piece is what we're going to address the most, in this podcast today. And so, let's begin by asking, how do you define successful aging work? Aging well,

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 4:59

So I define success in aging probably the same way I define success at all ages. Taking the gifts you've been given and the skills and trying to develop them to the maximum that you can. That's what I try to do. I am a big believer of using your time wisely and trying to continue to grow and learn. And I think in the sixties, that is even more important. I'm not somebody who thinks it's a great idea to get into Such a regular habit of things that you're not being challenged.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 5:34

I think we come out of a very special generation coming out of the 60s and 70s Because I'm just a couple years younger than you which puts me in my what 40s. What do you think when we hear the words passion and purpose? I've Talked a lot about that on the podcast recently, and it's just words that just keep coming up. And I think you're a perfect person to be asking this because of your nature, personality, and history. So what do you think about when you hear those words, passion and purpose?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 5:59

Well, when I hear purpose to me, it goes back to what is your core fundamental beliefs? What is the thing inside of you that not just drives you, but that you believe more than anything else is what matters in life. And for me, and this is what's in my philosophy of life, it begins. With seeking God in all things, it begins with my faith and belief system. And passion is a thing that gives you indescribable joy. That is almost an out of body experience. That to me is when I'm dancing, it is such a great passion. And there's so much I want to give and express that it's very different than the temporal world we live in every day.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 6:43

I checked out your LinkedIn to get a little bit of information for today. You recently posted about the five tactics you use to maintain your vitality and I believe they were listen and ask questions, travel, push yourself, expand your circle, and be mindful of how you fuel and recharge. Can you elaborate on these and why you think they are important for aging well?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 7:09

Sure. travel doesn't have to be some exotic foreign place. it is just putting yourself to see new things. It influences the way you think about things. this summer I happened to be in the Baltic sea for a week it was fabulous because I learned so much about World War II and saw things I would never probably see. And that did influence the way I view the world. the way I have a sensitivity to others. So I think wherever you travel far or near, it's good to continue to have new thoughts, vitality and a circle of friends, anything that helps you grow beyond yourself, is critical. it's very. interesting and easy to get your mind tracked and keep thinking about the same things. we have thousands of thoughts a day. one of the things I do as a practice is called centering prayer, where you literally just have to show up and let go. anytime you have a thought, you kind of put it on the boat on the river in front of you and then just go back to being so that you're available. I really think getting out of the rut of thinking or worrying, or, you know, whatever it is that occupies your mind isn't helpful to your overall well being.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 8:56

All right. And we often kind of talk on this podcast about the role of what I refer to as well centered fitness. it streamlines with what you just talked about centering yourself. I consider the roles of the spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, and social, dimensions of wellness. we sometimes just refer to them as spies for the acronym, those dimensions of wellness and how they play into our, Life and our efforts to age. Well, can you talk a little bit more about how that factors in? I know you've alluded to the spiritual piece, and I'm going to ask you more about that as well, because you do a lot of spiritual mentoring how are these important and that concept of centering and how you put that into play with those kind of five dimensions?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 9:41

And look, this is just how I operate. I was a philosophy major in undergrad. So I'm very much about systems and frameworks. So in my framework, yes, the spirituality is the center, but everything kind of relates and I am. big on habits. So, you know, let's take wellness. I'm pretty, disciplined on nutrition. It doesn't mean I don't have a cookie. It doesn't mean I don't have this or that, but every day I'm thinking about what's the fuel I want to put in my body right now. I'm in the height of my competitive season. So I'm shifting a little more to protein, for example, but you know, it doesn't have to be rigid for me. It just needs to be thoughtful. and the elements of wellness. Yeah. Sleep is one of my anchors and I wear this aura ring if I wake up and don't get optimal on my scoring, I'll throw myself back to bed to try to improve the score because, you know, I used to think, Oh, I sleep eight hours a night. But you learn that you don't, you might be in bed for eight hours, but the ring tracks everything. So I, I know sleeping is when you recharge, it's when your brain can reset at all of that. And that's really important to me. I'm very careful with what I do right before bed. I'm not a television watcher. I try to do, a bit of reading. or prayer right before I fall asleep, just with the thought that whatever's in my mind is going to translate into my unconscious and be helpful in my sleep. So sleep is very important to me. On exercise and to do things they like, not trying to be something they're not. Dancing, they say, I wish I could dance. I often turn it trying to be something they're not. You know, when people sometimes ask about my dancing and they say, I wish I can dance, I often turn it back and say, what do you love? What are your secrets? And what you naturally actually know. Honestly, I was thinking, I can't walk that. But I realized exercise, it has so many other benefits. And to keep moving with somebody, so you can knock off the social bit also. But just in nature. So, for me, I liked obsidian exercise. and they're big walkers. And I realized by being with them, like we were walking six hours a day to an exercise class back and forth. And I'm like, wow, I actually am not walking much in my life anymore. And this is great because I'm in nature, which I think is so important. And I have to replace tips, perhaps unconsciously. I was thinking I can't walk that, I realized. Wow. This is just natural exercise. It has so many other benefits. And the key one for me, you know, including just being with somebody so you can knock off the social bit also, but just being in nature. So for me, I like diversity and Exercise because I am a ballroom dancer. All of my exercise is loosely programmed around cross training that supports that. So other the other piece to have that, but I make sure I get a little cardio in. When I was in college, I was running every morning with a medical student who was signed by Nike. So that I was major running Now I'm I'm on the Peloton because of the hips for 10 to 20 minutes a day job done scheduled but I do yoga and Pilates and gyrotonics, and strength training. And I don't have a rigid schedule for for that. I know I get up. my day look like? When can I go to one of these classes or do it on my own and then then take. it from there? Um, but I do have, in the morning, a two or three hour, here's the things I do that I do, you know, every morning.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 13:13

And as a former, uh, philosophy major, um, I almost said physiology because that's kind of my area, um, as a former philosophy major, how do you keep up with that in terms of the intellectual side? Because I imagine as a philosopher, thinking is a big part of your life as well.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 13:31

That is so funny that you asked that question. So for Christmas, I gave my dance partner, he's 38, he's an amazing pro. And I gave him a t shirt and I gave me a t shirt and his t shirt said something to the effect of, let's just keep this simple and assume everything I say is right. And my t shirt said something to the effect of, I love to overthink. I mean, the problem with philosophy is you're learning different systems. You're learning formal logic. You know, you're thinking about how things work and how to see all sides. so that is a plus and a minus because sometimes I really do complicate things by looking at so many sides. And I see that in dance where he'll say, just keep it simple. Even this morning we were working. He's like, Don't give me the complicated answer. Tell me what you see with what I'm doing.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 14:20

Now, do you have a favorite philosopher?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 14:23

I would say Thomas Aquinas.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 14:25

Okay.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 14:26

yeah,

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 14:28

Yeah, I, it's weird. As a, you know, exercise physiologist, I still pull a lot of philosophy and that whole perspective of wellness into everything that I teach. I've enjoyed reading different philosophers over the years. a number of years ago, I was teaching back in Michigan at Hope College I was talking with one of the philosophy professors and I mentioned that, I wanted to start reading David Hume he looked at me like, why would you want to do that?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 14:53

Wow.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 14:54

don't know. I just Thought I'd try checking out his philosophy. He was kind of right. It was really hard to read, but

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 15:01

put this on your book stand. I'm going to give a plug to the Jesuits because I love the Jesuits and I'm trained in Ignatian spirituality. they're Georgetown university Loyola, a lot of colleges St. Ignatius Loyola. Just do a little bit of a dive into him. he begins by, seeking God in all things, using your creativity and your imagination and see what you think of that.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 15:23

I think my favorite Jesuit is, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 15:27

yeah, exactly.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 15:28

Yeah.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 15:29

on him. Yes. Good on you.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 15:32

Yeah. It just, it meshes so well with kind of my, and I was a geologist before I was a physiologist and, you know, just my whole life philosophy. My. image of God being so much bigger than just how we can find him even within our own religions and things like that and it's just a fascinating writer thinker and perceiver of the universe so yeah, I really love his stuff

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 15:58

I mean, it was interesting that he was a paleontologist and a Jesuit in this very deep, yeah, the two things at first you're like, how do those work together? And then you get into his, way he thinks and you're like, oh, I see.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 16:11

Well, that was one of my biggest challenges as geology major in college was how do I? pull together this push of evolution and everything else. And then, my belief in God. And it was pretty easy once I opened up Genesis and well, wait a minute, this fits the whole format of

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 16:29

Yeah,

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 16:30

I'm learning in geology. I just have to understand the God piece a little better and how this all fits together. I didn't come to until maybe about a decade ago.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 16:41

Got it. So I do spiritual direction one on one with people and we usually start with my asking them what their image of God is and what their history of God is. it is interesting to see, many people, whatever you call your God, the divine, is a specific thing that is very confined. And then as you go through the process and it's really about their journey, I'm just accompanying them. It is always fascinating to see how it changes over time as they just open themselves.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 17:13

Yeah. going back to the whole winter, well centered piece, I've found it is, I have that idea of well centeredness being kind of an asthma to where as we grow spiritually and physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially, We're hopefully constantly moving toward the target that target is getting smaller and more refined,

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 17:33

Yeah.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 17:33

but in that process our Belief systems and our thoughts and things are actually getting bigger and it's this kind of kind of two asthma topes you know the the universe being on this further expanding asthma tope and in our Kind of refinement of how we live our lives Being that more centered asthma tope.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 17:55

So Richard Rohr, who I love him

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 17:57

I love Richard Rohr, too

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 17:58

Love him. I love the way he places this as, The ego drama versus the Theo drama, or that might have been Bishop Barron, but whichever one of them, I think it's such a good way to think about you get so invested in your whole self world and your ego drama versus just the larger story. Which is the more exciting one.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 18:20

I know you mentor women over the age of 50. What are some of the greatest challenges they are facing as they age?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 18:28

So just to correct, I'm mentoring young women actually, who are in underserved communities and leadership, but I'm encouraging and supporting women over 50 one of the biggest challenges is, themselves and their own self image and their vision that they cannot change, or this is their life. sometimes it's for financial reasons. They feel very confined. Sometimes it's health reasons and they're both very real. what I try to do is encourage, You don't have to take massive steps. You can take baby steps and be creative. there's a lot available that people don't realize that don't cost money or very little money that they can start to make the small changes that can eventually lead to bigger changes.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 19:17

That baby steps piece is one thing that comes up a lot in our discussions, and I teach it a lot in my classes. one of my favorite movies is what about Bob? The whole baby steps, you know, baby steps around the office, baby steps onto the elevator and so on with that in mind, what advice then do you have for women in their teens, twenties, thirties and above?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 19:36

So, and this is what I do with my mentees starting with knowing yourself. Knowing yourself, knowing what you're good at, a game plan, having some goals. and, and it's interesting because I see the range of girls who come and I'm so amazed at what they've given me in terms of their articulated goals for where they're in their life. And then others, it's just interesting that they don't seem to have a sense of who they are. And what their interests are. And it's, so I think starting with knowing your strengths, knowing the challenges you have, knowing what excites and interests you, to give you something to work with, to build a bit of a plan or some basic goals, and then. Again, taking them all small steps looking for scaffolding. So sometimes I think people are overwhelmed in life. They just feel there's so much but finding the few people or the few organizations that can support you is really important. And I think harder in this society where because we're so much not in person, you know, you start feeling a bit isolated and you know, I, I have to say something about, you know, that are not helpful to you, you know, the overuse of social, all the obvious things, overuse of social media, drink, the drinking, the things. I think obviously these things can get in the way. they're called disordered affections in Ignatian's world, but you know, they're just things that, end up being obstacles.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 21:13

And you are a mother. You mentioned you have a daughter is 35. I wasn't sure what the ages were. I just knew you had children. my kids are a little bit younger. I started much later in life. so just one daughter. Do you have any other children, son?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 21:25

34 year old. She lives 20 minutes away with her husband. They're about to have their first child in November. It's really a great time. We're very close. I don't take that for granted. I think we all work very hard on the relationship on all sides. And then we have a son out in California. He's getting his master's in AI. He's a fabulous musician, just finished touring a bit with Il Divo. really interesting outdoorsy guy, rock climbs. They were very different kids growing up. I learned how to parent differently starting with where each child was at and working from there. And as a mother of adult children, I've learned and thought about. How can I best be helpful to them? And I basically always say the same thing. How can I be helpful? That's sort of my words. life is much, more complicated than, when I was raising them. So I think it's helpful to have a mom and dad around as part of your scaffolding.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 22:20

what advice do you have for parents raising children to help promote success later in life?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 22:27

Resiliency is top of the list. Resiliency is so important. habits, very important. even when I was raising my kids, I was always kind of the mom, That wasn't, it was difficult for my daughter because if everybody was lined up to go see the PG 13 movie, and this is real and this still stands out and they were all, 11 or 10, I was the one who said no, because I was a big believer in have the experiences appropriate for the child and don't have them all at once because then what are they going to look forward to and what will that lead to? So you're good parenting. It doesn't mean you're the popular parent, but it's so pays off later in life. I just. Can't even say that enough and just parenting as you believe and getting the help you need my husband and I, Would regularly work with a therapist throughout their years. I'd come with my list of here's what happened. How would you handle it? nobody really taught me how to parent and two very different kids So I'm not ashamed to ask for help. I just asked my daughter What do you want me to go to for classes and learn as a grandparent? So I just did my first video through Yale New Haven on understanding grandparenting. I thought this was going to be a cakewalk. I actually learned a few things.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 23:43

That's great advice. I think a lot of us tend to look back on the experiences we've had, you know, with our parents, grandparents, and ultimately end up emulating that rather than learning from it and building off of it. I always feel like my parents were not perfect. I'm certainly not a perfect parent. My kids should be a little bit better than me. And I know that in many ways I'm better than my father. That sounds like a horrible way to state it, but, he would have said the same thing, we learn and grow from them and we can't stop learning as we age as parents.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 24:19

Yeah. And we shouldn't want to. That reminds me, it's sort of like your managers in life. I learned as much or maybe more from the managers that were not really good managers or leaders as I did from those that were. And I think the same thing in parenting, you can think back to your childhood and no parent is perfect and think back to what was it that I really valued and I think impacted me. And what did they do that I really don't want to Even though it's kind of in my, you know, almost DNA because I was around it.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 24:53

And sometimes it takes years to realize how good our parents really were.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 24:56

Yeah.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 24:58

And so as a spiritual director, and I might get some of this wrong because I'm kind of going off of. LinkedIn and some other sources, but uh, you offer workshops in contemplative prayer, if I'm correct, and practices through Parkinson's Body and Mind and other healthcare organizations, is that correct?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 25:15

It's, one spiritual direction. So you want to get to know God on a more personal level, you and God. I come alongside you once a month. You are bringing me, you know, what percolated in what big things that happened to you or stuck in your mind. And I'm just sifting through looking for the gold nuggets, serving them back and asking questions. So that's going to be any faith. And it's just a walk to help you grow closer to God. It's not Bible study. It's not therapy. It's companionship. In you, me, and the Holy Spirit or whatever your versions of God are. I'm not sitting there trying to tell you what I think it's irrelevant. What I believe it's really about your growth. So I offer that. And then I do what's called Lectio Divina in groups. And this is coast to coast where I have up to eight people and we read a passage from the Bible three times. And after each time we reflect and share a word or a phrase or I ask a question and it's amazing how much depth you get out of that. I've had a group for 18 years in different forms of this it's quite interesting. So that's sort of things that I offer. Once I got the crown, I wanted to speak into the mission of the senior Miss America, which is supporting and encouraging women over 60. And then, um, also sharing wisdom with the younger women. So looking at the older set, I went to Parkinson's and there's an amazing Parkinson's body and mind support group that's now in six states. The founder is on Michael J. Fox's board and they don't have a spiritual component. so so she and are now looking at ways we can. Introduce a spiritual component into I are in today's work groups. studying kind with her. I'm, it's funny that crown kind of energized things do a couple more things in in my non painful way. that, you know, I just probably wouldn't have thought about.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 27:23

That's great to hear, bringing that spiritual connection into, you know, what we tend to kind of separate out is more of a biological or medical kind of treatment aspect. one of the things that I'm doing in my teaching a lot more is I remind my students that, exercise, because exercise physiologists and many of us going into rehabilitation in different areas,

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 27:46

Yeah.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 27:48

We don't just take the biological approach, it's not about treating the disease or the symptoms. It's about treating the whole person. And so I always have taken that message of it's biopsychosocial. I had a biomechanics colleague who said, wait a minute, no, it's biomechanical psychosocial. And it's like, oh, you're absolutely right. I try and drive that home to them all the time. And I think that's partly why. I get a little bit more philosophical within my classes. I might dance a little bit around the spiritual side a little bit more as to not offend. But can you tell us a little bit more about how this contemplative prayer and prayer in general, prayer and contemplation, can have such a profound effect on us as we attempt to age well?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 28:34

imagine a life where you have no inner life. Where you're not seeking something inside yourself, then what are you focusing on? You're focusing on things that are very visual in front of you, developing an inner life. helps you age well, because it will start to give you a purpose, give you something deeper than yourself the priest who married us. has severe medical conditions. I said to him once, so are you upset about this? And he said, at first I asked why me, but then I said, why not me? I think that spiritual base puts everything physical more in the proper context that whatever happens, doesn't really matter. What is the deepest thing that matters? I think it's helpful because it will give you a grounding. Whatever direction you take it for everything else to help you age well. Otherwise, it seems like you might just be popping from, rock to rock and never really experience the river that's going around all the rocks.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 29:37

I love that.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 29:38

just came to my mind.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 29:39

your comment from your priest also reminds me, and you're the generation that probably remember Arthur Ashe, and how he died of AIDS from hemophilia,

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 29:50

Yeah.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 29:50

he was once asked if he ever asked God, why me? And he said, well, if I ask God why me, I have to ask him why me about all the other good things that have happened in my life

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 30:00

I love that.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 30:01

And so that quote has always kind of been with me and that leads me into a question That I don't ask all of my guests. I will get to the question I ask all my guests, but I asked this one of guests that I feel like I can probably Guess a little bit what their answer is going to be and it's a question that I get often myself if you could go back in time and change one thing in your life, what would you change?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 30:28

Oh, that's really easy. I'm a little bit of a worrier especially when your kids are younger and everything feels so big. I wish I could have changed not taking it. I don't want to say not taking it so seriously, but that keeping it in its proper perspective at the moment.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 30:47

Okay, my answer is usually nothing. And I think you're along that same vein. you want to do things a little bit better. But I'm always afraid that if I had changed anything in my life it would change the trajectory of everybody else I've interacted with all those years. And so, so, okay, now I'll ask you the question I ask all my guests. Probably kind of already answered this, but we can bring it all together. What are you doing personally to age well?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 31:15

I have to go back to your pillars, which I really line up with, I'm making sure that I take care of my physical body, which includes things like, making sure you're getting your eye exam, everything that's on schedule for all your exams and preventatives. I even did that full body, cat scan. being a little more proactive on my health for prevention. you know, I think it's important. I can't just take it for granted anymore. doing my job in keeping my body well in terms of nutrition sleep and if I'm sick, taking care of myself and not pushing myself, I think as we get older, probably has been one thing that's changed. I don't know why for many years I had such a long to do list, like really? So I've been very conscious of that back and saying, is that, does that really matter? Does that really matter? And putting more white space in my life, which is its own wellness. that is important. And doing things to keep you curious. I just took up golf last year. I'm really loving it. Cause to me, you know, who cares? I mean, I'm just having fun. I'm not trying to. beat anybody or anything. I'm just enjoying the process. coming at it with a little different mentality and just trying new things. I think important as we're aging. and I like having younger people in my life. So helping me age well is staying connected to younger people. I just brought a younger woman into, one of my Lectio Divina groups and she brings so much to it and we love her perspective. And then working with these, girls in Girls with Impact is the name of the organization. I just, I just am finding so much joy in it. So I think being connected to younger people is really important too.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 33:04

That's one of the areas I think we've, as we've done this podcast over the last two and a half years, roughly, maybe a little longer now, the social connectedness keeps coming back and that reaching across the generations is even more important because we can be connected within our own little age groups and, and a lot of people, they think, well, I am socially connected. I go play bridge every week, but you're playing with the same group of women or men that are connected. Old and, you know, and I, by saying old, I mean old mentally,

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 33:38

Yes.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 33:38

all complaining about their ailments and everything else. so that all tends to bring us down rather than elevating us. having those social connections that tend to be more purposeful,

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 33:49

Yes.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 33:50

it's with younger people or people of our own age, different demographics as ourselves, and you've talked about working with younger girls and, different socioeconomic statuses I mean, growing up in a racially charged community, you probably have a little bit more sense of that as well. reaching out beyond what we see in the mirror every morning is a very important part of social connectedness.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 34:14

a rich tapestry. Otherwise you're just getting a reflection of yourself with a different hairstyle and eye color,

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 34:21

Yeah, it's a very good way to think of it. So, anything else we haven't talked about that you really wanted to touch on as you, we're Preparing yourself to come on the aging well podcast today.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 34:33

we've covered a lot. Let me just think about, is there anything else on aging? well, we didn't talk about this, but I think reading, right. my mother's 91 and she has a lot of physical ailments, but her mind is so sharp. So in prep for this, I said to her this morning, mom, you're doing a great job aging. she's got a social calendar that The living daylights out of anybody else. But again, it is very purposeful. She's still volunteering. She's going to, you know, sons of little Italy and the red hat lady society. And this morning I said, what are you doing? She's like, Oh, we've got tickets to good speed opera house to see the new show. And she said, you know, keep your mind busy. Get yourself out there. Like, I do crossword puzzles every morning. I'm playing Mahjong. So, I think any way you can keep your mind active. And, and I love reading. I'm a big reader. so,

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 35:25

you can't be a philosophy major without continuing to read. So yeah, reading is very important. Do you have any kind of favorite mind games that you might play on a regular basis?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 35:36

I'm really bad. I wish I was a good player. I don't play regularly, but whenever I pull out, crossword puzzle, I'm just shocked at how bad I'm at. I mean, it's a great way to get better.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 35:46

I'm horrible at crossword puzzles, so I don't even bother with those, but my students got me hooked on the wordle, the daily wordle game.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 35:54

Oh, I'm gonna look that up. I'm gonna write that down.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 35:56

Yeah. So I have to challenge myself with that. And then my son, Got me connected to connections, which you have to put these words together into four different categories. I'm getting better at it. So I guess my mind is maybe getting sharper as I'm getting a little bit older.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 36:12

that's great.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 36:13

So, I love to read as well.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 36:16

right now?

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 36:17

I have sitting on top of my stack, to go back through, the, phenomenon of man. I want to read that again. I saw books like that. I'm trying to think what else is on here. I have quite a few, probably not enough. I keep getting kind of sucked into reading stuff for, for work is, is kind of a professor. I have to

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 36:38

Yeah.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 36:39

a little bit more and kind of keep ahead. So I tend to read a lot more journal articles and some of those types of things, but I like to get into stuff that really broadens my thinking a little bit more. And so the philosophy kind of stuff. The, you know, Richard Rohr, those types of books are all stuff that I really love to dive into pretty regularly.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 36:58

Well, I've got three. One I just finished. I'm going to highly recommend Doris Kearns Goodwin. she's a historical writer and she wrote a book called An Unfinished Love Story. She served in LBJ's administration. She was a White House fellow and her husband served under JFK. He was almost his chief speech writer It's a fascinating story of the sixties. You learn so much about that time period in America. I highly recommend it. And then I'm reading a very interesting, you would really find this interesting. I'm embarrassed. I don't remember the name, but it's the first word is Auschwitz and it's about Auschwitz and the priest who took his final confession. It's fascinating reading.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 37:42

I've heard of both of those and need to get those on my list.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 37:45

Yeah, yeah, so,

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 37:47

and we've had several authors on the podcast. I get to read through their books before having them on. I need to dive deeper into those books because some of them are really fascinating. We just interviewed, Nayef, Maconally, I always have to think how to pronounce her name because It's an Irish name and it's spelled N I A M H,

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 38:06

mm,

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 38:06

it's Nayef, not how you would pronounce it,

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 38:09

right,

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 38:10

but we just had her on Following Sunshine and her story of traveling the world and

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 38:14

huh,

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 38:15

it's a really Deep, fascinating story that keeps you entertained, but it also gets you thinking and growing with it. I need to dive a little bit deeper into that. And there's just quite a few books. I have stacks that are starting to build up as I've kind of glanced through and gave a good skimming to the books, but I need to read through them all. I need more time in the day.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 38:34

I know. I understand. I get that.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 38:37

Yeah, so. Speaking of connecting with guests on the show, how can our listeners learn more about you, connect with you? Do you have a website, social media?

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 38:48

Sure. we're, launching a website next week. I have my business website, robincancelteam. com, but that's, only if you're looking for real estate in Greenwich, Connecticut, we're launching something next week, robincancel. com. I think that'll talk about the partnerships, give a little bit about me, if I can be helpful in any way, happy to be available to your listeners.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 39:07

So we will put links for that in the description notes and,

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 39:11

you.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 39:12

maybe even put a little bit of a reading list in there. Cause I know we've mentioned a few different books, but hopefully the readers will build up their own little reading list and use that to help them age well.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 39:22

Thanks for the opportunity to talk today.

jeff_1_08-24-2024_105508: 39:25

Oh, I love having the opportunity to talk to you. And really, Robin, thank you for sharing with us today. It has been, I believe, an inspiring conversation. I want you to keep promoting passion and vitality and keep aging well.

robin-kencel_1_08-24-2024_135508: 39:39

Thank you. Take good care.

39:42

Thank you for listening. I hope you benefited from today's podcast. Until next time, keep aging well.